What to DO When You Feel Stuck…

“You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem,

smarter than you think, and loved more than you’ll ever know.”

~Winnie the Pooh

Scripture:

And the Philistine said, “I defy the ranks of Israel this day.  Give me a man, that we may fight together.”  When Saul and the Israelites heard these words of the Philistine, they were dismayed and greatly afraid.  For 40 days the Philistine came forward and took his stand, morning and evening.

~1 Samuel 17:10-11, 16

Perspective:

The world is so very ridden with adversity, suffering, challenges, and darkness today, from destructive weather patterns to the vicious poverty cycle to the oppression of other human beings.  If we do not feel discouraged enough with the state of this world, all we need to do is briefly watch the news, which details all the negativity that surrounds us, often leaving us feeling disheartened and even helpless.  Too many people are struggling to simply survive, feeling like no matter what they do or how hard they work, they can barely keep their heads above water.  The number of people battling depression and anxiety has skyrocketed, as have the number of suicides happening daily.  The struggles are real and can quickly leave even the strongest person feeling stuck.  And this does not include all our day-to-day stressors and struggles.  But take comfort in what the Bible tells us, Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him (James 1:12).

We cannot fix the world, but we can fix our piece of the world and look to be a light in the lives of others as a part of our daily routine.  No matter how out of control life or this world feel, we always have options since the control we have lies in our self and how we respond to what happens to us.  We just never know when one small change is going to open a new door, break through barriers, allow us to attain a goal that feels insurmountable in the moment; or begin to create positive changes!  So, what are our options?  What can we do to get unstuck?  Feelings happen for a reason; they tell us when something is just not right, when something is very right, or one of numerous things in between those two extremes.  It is up to us to act when our body sends us a message.  Feeling stuck might be telling you that something needs to change.  A small change may be all you need to begin to shift patterns, give you a renewed perspective, and help you feel reenergized.  Each small step is momentum in the right direction and can quickly lead to the next step and then the next after that.  Change can be scary, but we must change and evolve to feel fulfilled.  Embrace the small steps you can take right now; they will add up over time!  If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given to him (James 1:5).

When you feel stuck, trapped, or overwhelmed STOP and take time to pray.  The only one with all the answers and a plan guaranteed to work is God.  Be faith-filled and persistent in your prayers.  Pray that God opens your heart, mind, eyes, and ears to His will, to what you are supposed to be doing.  And he told them a parable to the effect that they ought always to pray and not lose heart (Luke 18:1).  Prayer is vital, but so is listening to God speak to you.  Listen to your “instincts,” to what you believe God is telling you.  We only live life once and it really does go by quickly, do not waste precious time doing things that leave you feeling empty and stuck.  And do not wait until Monday or tomorrow to begin doing what you know you should do.

This next point is extremely important to remember, you do not have to have everything figured out to take a small step in a positive direction.  Sometimes the next step(s) only becomes apparent when we take that first step.  After all, God most often responds to our efforts, we must take the first step in faith.  “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you” (Matthew 7:7).  Do not let confusion or distress stop you from doing something.  If nothing changes, nothing changes!  YOU are the only one in control of your life, so it is up to YOU to make any necessary changes.  Look back at the things you have survived and grown from, maybe even make a list as a reminder.  In the moment, our hardships may feel impossible to overcome, but in reality, they are not, they just force us into our discomfort zone, they force us to adjust to something new and different than our current norm, a norm that often feels comfortable even if it is not good for us.

Examine your thinking.  It is nearly impossible to live a positive life if our mind is filled with negative thoughts, after all, how we think, is how we feel, is how we act, and so on.  Is negative thinking leading you toward a negative life?  Are the people in your life bringing value to it?  Do their actions show they care?  How people act is worth a thousand words, so focus on the actions of those you surround yourself with much more than their words.  Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things (Philippians 4:8). 

There are no guarantees in life, except that it will eventually end.  Do not let the chance of failure hold you back…you WILL fail, but that is how you make adjustments and move forward, more capable and stronger than before.  The lesson in your mistakes is how you learn, grow, and change.  F.a.i.l. is an acronym for first attempt in learning.  BUT you will also succeed, so focus on and put your energy into that!  For the righteous falls seven times and rises again, but the wicked stumble in times of calamity (Proverbs 24:16).  If you are doing the best you can, which includes learning and improving each day, then do not worry obsessively about all the possible outcomes.  Not everything will work out, but if you keep moving forward, things will fall into place, goals are obtained just one step at a time.  Remember the nine factors that YOU control and have available to create your best self and life: YOUR effort, grit, perseverance, resiliency, responsibility, risk, intentionality, consistency, and self-efficacy.  God will only do what you cannot.

• Do more of what you love.  Do not complain, it does not change a thing, but rather make positive changes…just one manageable step at a time.

• Small steps and victories create momentum and add up to goal attainment and thus living the life you desire.

• Take control of your finances.  Save where you can and use your money and resources to help you achieve your goals.  You CAN do it!

• Utilize your contacts to help you keep the momentum going.  Most people would be honored to know you value their advice.

• Your daily choices and actions create habits.  Psychologist and Researcher, Delia McCabe says, “Habits are basically the way for the brain to function very efficiently using less energy.”  Our energy is a factor in building sustainable momentum.  We can create new, stronger neuropathways in our brain through what we repeatedly do (Neuroplasticity); we do not just create habits, we also grow our brain!

Life Applications:

>Make a list of the pros and cons in your life right now, consider all areas of your life: spiritual, family, relationships, health and fitness, growth and learning, professional, and financial.  Determine what needs to change.  Pick the smallest step with the biggest impact and make a plan to take that step now!  Then do it again, and then again.  Small, impactful changes will help keep you motivated.

>>Ask yourself if you are trying to control things you cannot?  There are many things you can control, but they all involve YOU!  *Refer back to my list in the Life Applications section of “Acceptance!”

>>>Take a minute to follow your daily habits forward, where are they leading you?  Is that where you want to go?  If not, YOU need to brainstorm options and make changes…just one step at a time.  Al anon has a valuable saying, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results!”  How are you choosing to use life’s precious resources, such as time and energy, on a daily basis? 

>>>>Are your fears bigger than your goals and purpose?  Is the comfort you currently feel, no matter how unhealthy it may be, worth sacrificing what you want most in your one go-around in this life?  What is standing in the way of you stepping into your discomfort zone and creating positive changes?  Are you allowing excuses to hold you back?  That is something only YOU can answer and then change through your choices and actions!  Make sure whatever you come up with you have evidence to support, in order to separate your fears and excuses from reality and the tangible things you could in fact begin doing and changing.