Bouncing Back Stronger Than Before!

Quote:

“Life doesn’t get easier or more forgiving,

we get stronger and more resilient.”

~Dr. Steve Maraboli

Scripture:

We have troubles all around us, but we are not defeated.  We often don’t know what to do, but we don’t give up.  We are persecuted, but God does not leave us.  We are hurt sometimes, but we are not destroyed.

~2 Corinthians 4:8-9

Perspective:

Resiliency is defined as the ability to recover quickly from or adapt to disruptive change or adversity without being overwhelmed or acting in dysfunctional or harmful ways; simply put, it is the ability to bounce back from difficulties.

Life is full of difficulties, both small and big, short and long-term, in fact there are very few days we do not face a challenge of some sort.  Imagine the burden you will unnecessarily carry with you day in and day out if you let them overwhelm you and pile up vs. if you choose to let them help you learn and grow and are then able to move past them.  There are some people who are unphased by troubles, they are very resilient, and on the opposite end of the spectrum there are those people who are thrown off by every inconvenience they face.  Doing so causes unnecessary stress and can quickly cause life to feel negative.  You can probably name an example of both these types of people in your life right now… 

Resiliency does not mean we are unaffected by trials, but rather that we are able to grow through them, that we are able to tolerate the uncomfortable struggle and work toward a resolution.  Proverbs 24:16 says, “Though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again, but the wicked stumble when calamity strikes.”  It is the rising again  that is crucial to a good and productive life.  Without resiliency, Christianity would not have spread.  The Disciples would have quickly been beaten down mentally and physically and given up.  They bounced back because of their faith and trust in Jesus.  Think of all the people in the Bible who bounced back and kept going, stronger than before: Joseph, Moses, Paul, Job, and Ruth just to name a few of the many.

Assumptions about situations not working out can lead to giving up as opposed to being resilient and pressing on.  The truth is, we do not know how things will work out no matter how terrible they seem in the moment, only God knows.  I certainly have been in some situations that seemed impossible to fix or get out of, like there was just no way things would get better, but guess what?  Life kept moving forward and those situations did get resolved, not always to my immediate satisfaction but certainly how they were supposed to.  The good news is Christians do not need to rely on themselves when faced with challenges.  We can choose  to rely on God’s unfailing strength and understanding.  We can choose  to trust His plan no matter what is going on in our life at any given moment; there is no problem too great for Him to resolve.  I feel better just knowing I have God to lean on and trust, because life is hard!

Some trials are bigger and take time, trust, and patience to work through.  However, little inconveniences pop up all the time: we call for an appointment somewhere and have to wait far longer than what feels convenient; we get a flat tire when headed out for the day; we can’t get through on a business line and we have a question that needs an answer ASAP; something we need in order to finish dinner has expired; the dishwasher wasn’t actually run; one of our kids forgot their homework, and the list could go on.  How we choose to react is part of being resilient, or not!  Will getting upset and yelling at yourself or someone else solve the problem?  No, it will just cause an unhealthy stress reaction in your mind and body and will probably make the problem feel  worse. 

• First and foremost, we must accept that life is not a smooth ride, it is actually a series of peaks and valleys, with rocky, winding roads even on the peaks!  That is life.  It will not be easy, but it can certainly be good depending on how we choose to view it and act through it.
• Take a few deep breathes, flooding your brain with oxygen, then pray for God’s strength and guidance, on your knees if possible, as you prepare to navigate the situation.  Beginning your day with God sets a positive tone for whatever lies ahead.  
• Look at each situation, regardless the size, from a solution-focused approach.  Ask yourself if you can change what is going on.  If not, then what can you do to help yourself through the problem?  Make a list of ideas and then do the one that seems best in the moment.  If it does not work, learn from it and try something else!  Our mistakes must be viewed as rich learning opportunities, we only fail if we stop trying.
• Sometimes we need to take an adult timeout, to regroup, before we can calmly and effectively assess and handle a dilemma.  It is ok to walk away from a problem for a short time, with a plan to return and tackle it later.  If you need to walk away from a person instead of loosing your temper, make sure you tell them that you need a timeout to calm your mind but that you will be back and ready to work through the situation shortly.

The more trials we work and grow through, the stronger we become.  Learning, growing, and changing to become more Christ-like is the purpose of our time on this earth.  We do not grow when we are comfortable, but rather when we are not.  Although adversity does not feel good, it does have a very significant purpose in our life.  It is hard to bounce back from unresolved issues, unless the resolution is simply acceptance, because you know you have done all you are humanly capable of and you must trust God to do what you can’t.  Begin each day with God by your side, knowing that you and He can overcome whatever challenges you face and that you will bounce back stronger for doing so!

Life Application:

>Take the time to honestly assess how you have handled adversity in your life in the past, even yesterday: 

• When faced with adversity, are you usually calm or do you quickly become frantic? 
• Do you speak and act calmly when confronted with problems or rapidly become stressed and begin losing your cool and yelling? 
• Are you able to think and plan when faced with obstacles or do you feel confused and panicked? 
• Do hardships cause you to doubt yourself and/or God? 
• How quickly can you move on from troubling situations emotionally, spiritually, and physically?

>>Jot down some notes on how you have handled a few different obstacles poorly and then what you can do differently the next time, so that you grow through future challenges and bounce back stronger than ever before.  

>>>Do you begin each day talking to God?  Asking for His guidance and strength, for Him to help you have an open heart, mind, eyes, and ears in all you face?  Do you pray without ceasing, the way we are instructed to do in the Bible?  If not, it may feel awkward going to God when difficulties arise throughout the day; it would be like calling a friend you have not spoken to in a while to discuss a personal and intimate problem.