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What mode are you in?

Quote:

“The best part of life is not just surviving but thriving with passion and compassion and humor and style and generosity and kindness.”

~Maya Angelou

Scripture:

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

~Jeremiah 29:11                                                                                                                                                                           

Perspective:

To survive is defined as to continue to live or exist, especially in spite of danger or hardship.

To thrive is defined as to grow or develop well or vigorously.

This devotional topic grew out of a conversation my husband and I had recently.  I was talking to him about my feelings, that I feel in some ways he has been a bit stuck since we went through our financial crisis in 2017 and are now working to grow out of it.  His mindset has been how to spend less to get out of debt and mine is to work smarter and make more to get out of debt and get ahead.  Suddenly, a light bulb came on and he realized he has been in survival, or scarcity mode, trying to make ends meet rather than being focused on true growth and rebuilding, on planning for and working toward an abundant future. 

Like it or not, your thoughts are very powerful and a self-fulfilling prophecy.  The mindset you go through each day with will guide your feelings, your actions, and your choices, it will ultimately guide your life.  Have you ever heard someone say, “I knew that was going to happen?”  It happened because they thought it would, not because they have an amazing ability to predict the future.  People work to do what they think they can do, or they are held back by the thought that they can’t do what they would like to do. 

We all have rough seasons of varying lengths where we slip into survival mode, where our prayer for a time may simply be saying, “Jesus help me” or “God give me strength.”  We may feel like we are drowning with no lifeguard in sight, whether it is caused by a failed relationship, an illness we must endure, a physically or mentally ill child or loved one, a financial crisis, or one of many other scares or losses we could potentially encounter in this life.  Often more than one overwhelms us at a time, as the popular idiom goes, “when it rains, it pours.”  It is during these times that we are most likely to slip into survival mode, often even doing so subconsciously.  Without a big life change for the better, it can feel  impossible to pull ourselves out of survival mode.  Instead we wait for our circumstances to change in order to thrive and enjoy life.  Most of us have probably said something like, “I’ll be happy when…  I find the right partner, I am financially secure, I lose the extra weight, etc. and that is giving yourself permission to coast along in survival mode.  You do not need to wait to thrive, you can begin right now in this moment!

What can you do to get out of the survival mode quicksand?  Believe it or not, it is a choice even if it doesn’t feel like it!  And the smallest of efforts can have a positive ripple effect in your life.  We must begin by choosing to make some positive changes beginning with our thinking, or mindset, which can be done in a number of ways. First and foremost, we must remember that there is a reason for everything, that God allows adversity in our lives not to take us down, but so we can grow toward Him, within ourselves, and through the challenges that take us out of our comfort zones.  So, recommit to trust God despite the situation you are in; do this daily, maybe even hourly or more if need be, and sometimes we need to minute to minute.  We must put in the effort to retrain our brains and how we think, in doing so we create new and stronger neural pathways.  This is how we replace bad habits with good ones that then become our new norm, or nature.

Wishing for better circumstances or complaining about our current circumstances will NOT change anything!  If anything, doing so is like stepping on the gas when our car is stuck in mud or snow, all we do is dig ourselves in deeper.  You will need to put in the intentional, consistent effort toward change; you will need to persevere even when you feel like giving up and that you and/or your situation are hopeless; you will need to stand back up and dust yourself off more times than you fall; and, you will need to pursue self-efficacy, or an “I can do it” attitude even when you struggle to believe in yourself!  No matter how hard or hopeless it feels, you must decide to do the tough work and take action in order to turn things around.  Sometimes just going through the right motions will help to begin to turn your thinking around.  Feelings change quickly and can not be trusted as a place to put our faith, no matter how strong they feel at any given moment. 

There are blessings on the other side of your hardships.  For God to move you up to a new level, you must learn the lessons and win the battle in your mind at your current level, otherwise you are not ready for the lessons and growth in the levels to come.  When I find myself struggling with something challenging, something I could easily succumb to, I remind myself of how badly I want to learn, grow, and change into that next season God has waiting for me.  As hard as the work will be, it is easier than staying stuck where I am!  If I don’t have the passion to fight through the adversity in front of me, and many times I do not, I lean on my Creator for He promises to give me all I need to get through anything, one day at a time, and to be stronger on the other side.  We do not need to understand our adversities to grow through them, we must simply trust God, we must have faith.  

Life Application:

>Take some time to intentionally stop and get off the mental freeway we spend most days on, really contemplate what mode you are in?  What thoughts are guiding your feelings, actions, and choices each day?  Do you look at your mistakes and failures as rich opportunities to grow closer to God and forward in life?  Or do you look at them as bad luck and proof that you cannot meet your goals?  How you think, is how you feel, is how you act, is how you think, and so on, there is no escaping the power of your thoughts!  You can’t control what comes into your mind, however you can control what you allow to stay.

What are your goals?  Now work backwards, what thoughts, actions, and choices will get you there?  Take one step at a time and refuse to give up till you get there! 

My name is Noelle (Rousseau) Picozzi. I have a Master’s Degree in Social Work from Barry University (Miami Shores, FL) and a Master’s Degree in Education from Le Moyne University (Syracuse, NY). I have worked with children, adolescents, families, and adults in a variety of settings since 1993 when I first became an active volunteer for my local rape crisis center. After 50 years in the Northeast, I currently reside in North Carolina with my husband and 3 children who are 18, 12, and 11; in September my first baby leaves the nest for college, which is certainly bittersweet! Many of the skills I learned in my academic and professional life, I have put to good use in the last 14 years as a stay-at-home mom; my husband, myself, and my 3 children all have ADHD/ADD and Anxiety to varying degrees. My life motto has always been, “Grow, Learn, and Change” for as long as I can remember; my book of choice has always been, self-help. I grew up as the youngest child of immigrant parents, my father was an alcoholic, I struggled with undiagnosed ADHD, and wore very thick glasses growing up in a time when being bullied was a dirty, shameful secret, I have lost my parents and 2 brothers; life started as a challenge and hasn’t stopped since. Needless to say, there aren’t many scenarios I have heard from clients, students, and friends that I cannot relate to in some way directly or indirectly. I have a lifelong passion for and commitment to self-growth, which probably started out of necessity/survival mode. I began my research on current educational trends in December shortly after I began substitute teaching and stumbled upon Carol Dweck and the Growth Mindset. Although my focus for this website is on the growth mindset in education, this way of thinking, feeling and acting applies to and can benefit all areas of life! Keep your eyes open for my blog (Coming soon! : ), my first book: The Growth Mindset Daily Journal, and lots of other growth mindset projects!